Are You Based?

Unless you've been living in a cave--or just don't have your ear to the rap blogs--then by now you've probably heard of Hip-Hop's latest internet phenom Lil B the BasedGod. (Some who have would probably rather be in the cave) If you haven't here's a quick refresher: his flow is nonexistent, his raps are inane and usually consist of taking your bitch and having more swag (his favorite word) than you, and he apparently looks like A LOT of people. Oh and people love him. Confession: I kind of do too (Pause). There's just plain stupid and there's hilariously stupid, and if Based God doesn't fall in the latter for you then your sense of humor needs some freshening. While the rest of you rap geeks drool over Odd Future, for whatever reason, I'm sticking with the guy that actually made the freshmen class this year. Without further ado here are the four essential BasedGod songs. SWAG!

*Based Facts - Lil B was originally a member of The Pack. You know, the Vans song and such.*

Suck My Dick Hoe

My favorite Lil B song and easily his most listenable, as in, you can make it through the whole track with your brain cells intact. (Although its not nearly as fun if just audio.) Young BasedGod came straight for the bitches, so where does he go for this visual but the local mall. (Curiously there's nary a bad chick in it though.) Watch Lil Brandon play with iPads, lurk around Sephora, and post up near the mall car while he tells you why the hoes prefer him over you...cause he looks like Ben and Jerry of course! These are his most fun lyrics I've heard (you will die when you hear some of the celebrity comparisons) and the beat is actually hot as hell. Just don't expect him to actually competently flow over it.


**Based Facts - At Lil B shows fans often show up decked out in aprons and chef hats in recogniton of his cooking dance, and scream things like "Based God can fuck my bitch." (Or worse, their mom.) Last January Based God held a show at the reputable Highline Ballroom in NYC. It was sold out.**


Ellen DeGeneres

He's Ellen DeGeneres. Why that's a cool person to be, especially for a dude I have no idea. Don't question it, just sit back for the pure comedy of lines like "Swag swag swag swag brrrrang dang dang yo girlfriend." Also if you thought the Based One wasn't catching on, watch two banging ass girls do the cooking dance in the club.


***Based Facts - Lil B is affiliated with Soulja Boy, [allegedly] even writing his hit song "Pretty Boy Swag."***


Age of Information

Lil B actually tries to add some, y'know, content to his songs with this one, talking about the evils of technology. Or something like that. I didn't really make it to the end. Pathetic attempts at substance like this aren't the appeal of based music. But the real story behind this is UC Berkley Professor Geoffrey D. Nunberg actually PLAYED this song for his Media Studies class earlier this year, citing that Lil B brings up several "good and interesting points." Wtf? Now the fact that this lecture just happened to be recorded and its in B.G.'s hometown of Berkley at that kinda screams hoax. But if not...damn Based God, you doin...everything.


****Based Facts - Respectable journalists love him. No like, really, respectable journalists.****


T-shirts and Buddens

Nevermind the head-scratcher of a title, this song is...not bad. Yea I said it. This is Lil B at his lyrical best, (admittedly that still doesn't amount to much) going at Joe Budden's neck for some reason that I don't care enough to look up. Whatever the beef Young Based was clearly offended and drops hilarious gems over a smooth beat like "Joe BuddenTV...no, Joe BITCH TV." It's worth sitting through the entire song just to hear the kiss-off line, "You just got dissed by a pretty bitch." Proof that if and when Brandon actually tries, he might be a decent rapper after all.


*****Based Facts - If someone says you look like Based God then by transitive property you also look like, Ellen DeGeneres (see above), Miley Cyrus, J.K. Rowling, Bill Clinton, Justin Bieber, Ben&Jerry, Matlock, Darth Vader and...Jesus. Sooooo, compliment?*****


So...thoughts? An imbecile who found a way to market his imbecility? A normal guy acting like a fool just to get attention? Rhodes Scholar conducting a hoax for his dissertation on the stupidity and gullibility of American popular music listeners? (God I hope it's the latter...)

Songs of the Week

West Coast - Coconut Records

Homesick just when I thought I was sick of home. Oh, wait...from New Jersey. Oh well, the PCH sounds like a much better place to be right now. Some day, perhaps.




What We Know - Miles Fisher

Miles is a struggling actor with an uncanny resemblance to Christian Bale AND Tom Cruise, whose credits include Superhero Movie and an upcoming [yet another] Final Destination sequel. Soooo yeaaaa, not doing too hot. He also sings, and while I can't really lay claim to his acting skills yet it's a real shame that he's flying under the radar in this field because he's got a great voice. He has an EP with a great cover of previous Song of the Week, Talking Heads' "This Must Be the Place" (Youtube the video, you'll see what I mean about that Christian Bale comparison), and this song, which is admittedly pop as hell and a little...odd. But I love it, and for some reason it's been in constant rotation this week. Enjoy.

Songs of the Week

Change Is Gonna Come - DMX
*So apparently the Sam Cooke sample got this taken down. Listen here: http://www.thelifefiles.com/2011/02/07/new-dmx-change-is-gonna-come-prod-by-swizz-beatz/
If you really fuck with it, leave your email in the comments*


Is this real life? DMX actually sat down in between jail bids (he's currently serving out a year for GodKnowsWhatThisTime; his 7th or 8th term) and made a song? A decent...wait, a HOT song? How? Is it 2001 ? Credit Swizz Beatz for being a good friend. You can't keep a grown man clean but throw him a good beat, lock him in the studio and that old greatness might resurface. I was quite skeptical when this dropped a couple weeks ago as part of Swizzy's weekly #MonsterMondays fake ass G.O.O.D. Friday free music initiative. Fast forward a few minutes later and I'm actually downloading it. Then fast forward to the other day, when I played it like 12 times in as many hours. My cynicism is warranted, for those who aren't in the know regarding how Dark Man X spends his time these days. He hasn't released an album in almost five years now. In that time span not a single loosey either, and if so it was so bad I mentally blocked it. Add the fact that he's probably spent more time in prison than his actual home, assuming he hasn't sold it for crack money. But man the lyrics...aren't terrible. Far from it. (Not perfect either though: "Industry's moving in a different direction/kinda like a bitch with an erection" ...*Shrug*) Can X get clean and pull a Recovery? (To be honest he could probably top Em in bottom of the barrel woe-was-me-ness). Let's hope Swizz keeps his man on his toes when he gets out. More like this please.


1997 - Dom Kennedy

"1997, I wrote my first rhyme/'I wanna marry you' is what I told my first dime/had my first drink, rolled my first dime/and I knew I was that nigga for the very first time."
This guy' s next. When he blows remember the Connoisseuraus told you. From the Westside with Love. Download it. That is all.

Songs of the Week

*Songs plural because at 4420 and counting you simply can't choose one*


Pandemonium - Rick Ross Ft. Meek Mill & Wale

The Boyz in the Hood intro is too cool. When you hear Ricky Rozay's now trademark Australian chick whispering "Maybach Music" before the beat drops you can't help but get excited and thankfully the track lives up to it. A sick beat that's mercifully NOT produced by some double L dude from the South that you may have heard of. Ross continues to step up his bars ("Armadillo cigars, killers who like to play golf/heroin transactions with Russian shots of the Smirnoff") and with recent Maybach Music Group signees Wale and Meek Mill proves that he may be able to pull off a hot label after all, cause those Triple C's dudes are not it (Don't know what I'm talking about? Exactly).  He already proved he was here to stay after managing to steal some summer spotlight for himself from Drake and Eminem last year; I'm already excited to see what the Boss has in store for 2011.

And to highlight my eclecticism...

This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) - The Talking Heads

Not much to say about this besides it being one of the best songs of all time. Yea, I said it. Been banging this for the past two weeks like it was new or something [1983]. Enjoy. Peep the cover by Miles Fisher too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G29d6RDSK1c

The Top 20 Episodes of Entourage

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.