If you're like me, and immediately got sucked into HBO's latest TV tour de force Game of Thrones, but never read the source book series, A Song of Ice & Fire, then the season probably didn't play out how you expected it to. The inevitable showdown between the show's two coolest characters, standup-guy-surrounded-by-unscrupulous assholes Lord Ned Stark and ultimate badass conqueror Khal Drogo they teased all season long? Welp, by the time the finale came around, Ned had been beheaded in what will go down in TV history as one of the most unexpected deaths of all time, and Drogo had been rendered a vegetable and euthanized by his hot underaged wife. The madness of mercy indeed. Apparently fans of the show but not the books have abandoned ship, whining that they identified Ned as the protagonist and now that he's gone there's no point to watch, which is fucking stupid; this is a series full of rich and interesting worlds and characters. But that did make me sit realize...everybody left standing for season 2 is a dickhead! Amidst all the back-stabbers, schemers, and otherwise unpleasant people, who can I even root for? Here are the remaining "real" dudes I can get down with when we return next year:
Tyrion Lanister - He may be on Team
Arya - Unlike her stupid older sister, Ned's youngest daughter and tomboy always knew the Lannisters were bitch-made and was always down to ride for her family. Her sword game is crazy too; after witnessing her pop's beheading I'm counting on her above her five siblings to be the one to get revenge.
Jon Snow - Always a cool character but his storyline at the Wall was my least favorite all season. That Rangers are a buncha fake ass Green Lanterns if you ask me. Hopefully next year gives him something more interesting to do than be a bored badass and befriend fat people.
Direwolves - They prevented not one but two assassination attempts on their masters. Best. Pets. Ever.
Runners Up: Robb Stark for transforming from punk entitled kid to worthy successor of his father; Jorah Mormount for at least having an allegiance on a show packed with duplicitous people.