Entertainment news and musings from a pop culture geek

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Are You Based?

Unless you've been living in a cave--or just don't have your ear to the rap blogs--then by now you've probably heard of Hip-Hop's latest internet phenom Lil B the BasedGod. (Some who have would probably rather be in the cave) If you haven't here's a quick refresher: his flow is nonexistent, his raps are inane and usually consist of taking your bitch and having more swag (his favorite word) than you, and he apparently looks like A LOT of people. Oh and people love him. Confession: I kind of do too (Pause). There's just plain stupid and there's hilariously stupid, and if Based God doesn't fall in the latter for you then your sense of humor needs some freshening. While the rest of you rap geeks drool over Odd Future, for whatever reason, I'm sticking with the guy that actually made the freshmen class this year. Without further ado here are the four essential BasedGod songs. SWAG!

*Based Facts - Lil B was originally a member of The Pack. You know, the Vans song and such.*

Suck My Dick Hoe
My favorite Lil B song and easily his most listenable, as in, you can make it through the whole track with your brain cells intact. (Although its not nearly as fun if just audio.) Young BasedGod came straight for the bitches, so where does he go for this visual but the local mall. (Curiously there's nary a bad chick in it though.) Watch Lil Brandon play with iPads, lurk around Sephora, and post up near the mall car while he tells you why the hoes prefer him over you...cause he looks like Ben and Jerry of course! These are his most fun lyrics I've heard (you will die when you hear some of the celebrity comparisons) and the beat is actually hot as hell. Just don't expect him to actually competently flow over it.

**Based Facts - At Lil B shows fans often show up decked out in aprons and chef hats in recogniton of his cooking dance, and scream things like "Based God can fuck my bitch." (Or worse, their mom.) Last January Based God held a show at the reputable Highline Ballroom in NYC. It was sold out.**

Ellen DeGeneres
He's Ellen DeGeneres. Why that's a cool person to be, especially for a dude I have no idea. Don't question it, just sit back for the pure comedy of lines like "Swag swag swag swag brrrrang dang dang yo girlfriend." Also if you thought the Based One wasn't catching on, watch two banging ass girls do the cooking dance in the club.

***Based Facts - Lil B is affiliated with Soulja Boy, [allegedly] even writing his hit song "Pretty Boy Swag."***

Age of Information
Lil B actually tries to add some, y'know, content to his songs with this one, talking about the evils of technology. Or something like that. I didn't really make it to the end. Pathetic attempts at substance like this aren't the appeal of based music. But the real story behind this is UC Berkley Professor Geoffrey D. Nunberg actually PLAYED this song for his Media Studies class earlier this year, citing that Lil B brings up several "good and interesting points." Wtf? Now the fact that this lecture just happened to be recorded and its in B.G.'s hometown of Berkley at that kinda screams hoax. But if not...damn Based God, you doin...everything.

****Based Facts - Respectable journalists love him. No like, really, respectable journalists.****

T-shirts and Buddens
Nevermind the head-scratcher of a title, this song is...not bad. Yea I said it. This is Lil B at his lyrical best, (admittedly that still doesn't amount to much) going at Joe Budden's neck for some reason that I don't care enough to look up. Whatever the beef Young Based was clearly offended and drops hilarious gems over a smooth beat like "Joe BuddenTV...no, Joe BITCH TV." It's worth sitting through the entire song just to hear the kiss-off line, "You just got dissed by a pretty bitch." Proof that if and when Brandon actually tries, he might be a decent rapper after all.

*****Based Facts - If someone says you look like Based God then by transitive property you also look like, Ellen DeGeneres (see above), Miley Cyrus, J.K. Rowling, Bill Clinton, Justin Bieber, Ben&Jerry, Matlock, Darth Vader and...Jesus. Sooooo, compliment?*****

So...thoughts? An imbecile who found a way to market his imbecility? A normal guy acting like a fool just to get attention? Rhodes Scholar conducting a hoax for his dissertation on the stupidity and gullibility of American popular music listeners? (God I hope it's the latter...)


  1. Very well written article. Giving even more shine to the Based. The Based is a clown and he is coon but he is amusing...swag!

  2. I actually sit here perplexed that you could actually write an intelligent article about Lil B. There is something to be said for an artist who has completely & unapologetically embraced the nonsensical nature of present day hip hop. However, as with most winning formulas, his "swag" will be endlessly duplicated & probably poorly so causing a virtual monsoon of bullshit rap. The real question is whether or not "The Based God" is the harbinger of the death of rap?